A Still Mind and an Open Heart
A Still Mind and an Open Heart:
The Key to Overcoming Writer’s Block is Self-Compassion
Writer’s block. I know it. You know it. We all know what it feels like to run into a writer’s block. It’s truly frustrating, overwhelming, and often incredibly defeating. But if there is any assurance I can give you, it is that writer’s block happens, not because we are “stupid” or “not good enough”, but because of our restless minds. The good news is that it is entirely solvable by stilling our minds and opening our hearts.
From Self-Doubt, Overthinking, and Perfectionism...
When I first sat down to write my book almost four years ago, I thought it was going to be easy. In my mind, it was going to be like writing a college paper: easy, breezy, procrastineezy. Boy, was I humbled! But, what my writer’s block taught me over the years was that the challenge is almost never the material itself. It is everything happening in my own mind. Self-doubt, overthinking, and perfectionism all made writing my book feel like a fist fight. I’ve second guessed every sentence, felt frustrated when the words didn’t come out right, and on occasion I’ve avoided writing it altogether because I didn’t think I was good enough. Needless to say, writer’s block has been the bane of my existence for the last four years. But with a lot of love, a dash of understanding, and a sprinkle of kindness, self-compassion has been the key to helping me still my mind and open my heart, overcoming even the worst writer’s block and allowing me to write from my heart.
...To Feelings, Expression, and Connection
So what the heck is a still mind and an open heart? If at first glance it sounds like some spiritual thing, then you’d be right! Stilling the mind and opening the heart is the pathway to self-realization and spiritual awakening. The process of stilling the mind and opening the heart is the process of turning our attention inward and uncovering and recognizing for ourselves who we truly are—pure consciousness held in loving essence. Without getting into the weeds of it, our True Self is the wellspring of joy, peacefulness, and freedom. But we don’t have to be on any spiritual path to benefit from stilling the mind and opening the heart.
At its core, a still mind and an open heart are not two separate things. They are two parts of the same mechanism. When our minds are restless our hearts naturally contract and close. Thoughts such as ones of self-criticism, insecurity, or perfectionism don’t just stay in the mind; they create tension and resistance in the heart. One negative belief about ourselves can sprout thousands of thoughts and in turn trigger a multitude of emotions that can close our hearts. One little pebble of self-doubt can splash into a thousand ripples of “what-ifs” and “should-haves”, triggering waves of anxiety and shame that close us off and shut us down. Spiritually speaking, a restless mind is like a shroud that covers up our authenticity.
Similarly, when the mind is at ease—free from the constant push and pull of overthinking—the heart softens, allowing us to feel, express, and connect without fear. This is why trying to force the heart to open while our minds are filled with anxiety, self-criticism, or fearful thoughts never works. When we let go of our mental struggle, our hearts naturally open, and when our hearts are open, our minds find their stillness, and we begin to reveal our authenticity.
Which brings me to the first tool I’d like to share with you. Drumroll please.
Journaling
Alright, look, I know this isn’t some sexy spiritual tool like instructing you to recite mantra or hug crystals in the Amazonian jungle. But journaling is one of the simplest and quickest ways to settle our minds—and it’s one you can do at home in your pajamas, hugging your pets.
Often, the biggest hurdle preventing me from writing is my mind indiscriminately running on overdrive. These thoughts could be anything from remembering embarrassing things I’ve said to people, to worrying about not being a good enough writer, to what I want for dinner. As you can imagine, with such a restless mind, it’s impossible to sit down to focus.
If you’ve ever tried to shove your thoughts down and shut them up, you’ll know that it’s impossible. It’s like playing whack-a-mole, but worse. In fact, they’ll come back with a vengeance. Just as we cannot face a runaway train head-on, we can’t face our thoughts the same way.
Journaling gives us an outlet for our mind’s clutter. This is the equivalent to taking the steam out of our runaway train little-by-little. Eventually, our minds will settle when we run out of things to think about.
A journal is not a diary or a planner, it’s a safe and private place for you to freely write down your thoughts. Journaling is a powerful tool to clarify your thoughts in your head so they don’t snowball out of control. Often, it can unearth answers that could be buried deep within yourself.
Step 1: Make journaling easy for yourself. Keep a pen and notebook together so they’re easily accessible. If you wish, you may open a document on your tablet or computer.
Step 2: Find a place where you will not be disturbed.
Step 3: Write whatever feels right to you. Your journal does not need to follow any grammatical or spelling rules. Below is only one of the ways you can write in your journal.
Freewriting: This is a powerful way to journal out your thoughts. Freewriting, as the name suggests, is a way to write in your journal without judgements. Often, this technique of journaling begins with a prompt or a question followed by allowing our thoughts to run their course in our journal.
Journaling is an amazing way to start a new and loving relationship with yourself. Not only are you decluttering your mind, you’re also connecting with yourself by exercising self-inquiry.
The relationship we have with ourselves has a huge influence on how still our minds and how open our hearts are. When we relate to ourselves with self-judgment, harsh criticism, or self-doubt, our minds become filled with anxious thoughts and over-analysis, making us guarded, defensive, or afraid to fully express ourselves. The more we fight against ourselves the more restless our minds become, closing our hearts in the process.
A still mind and an open heart comes from the inner peace that develops when we stop fighting against ourselves. Without the constant churn of self-judgment, anxiety, or striving for external validation, our mind finds the space to settle, allowing our hearts to relax and open. In other words, we need to treat ourselves with love, kindness, and understanding—and it all starts with how we speak to ourselves.
How we speak to ourselves is a good indicator of how we relate to ourselves. Whenever we don’t live up to our idea of perfection or we’ve fallen short on something, there’s a voice inside our heads that concludes and affirms that we are not good enough, rich enough, pretty enough—not enough. That voice then judges us, calls us names, and puts us down. This voice inside our heads is what we call the inner critic. This voice is a reflection of our relationship with ourselves. As you can imagine, our inner critic not only has the power to create writer’s block, it can make writing a living nightmare. So, with a lot of love, a dash of understanding and a sprinkle of kindness, we turn to self-compassion to shift our relationship with ourselves.
Call On Your Inner Awesome-Best-Friend
When we shift how we relate to ourselves, we also shift how we speak to ourselves. When we meet ourselves with compassion—with love, kindness, and understanding—we create within ourselves a safe and peaceful environment for our minds to settle. Instead of tearing ourselves down for writing something “bad”, self-compassion allows us to see it as part of the creative process. It helps us move past perfectionism, embrace mistakes as learning opportunities, and trust ourselves. By replacing self-judgment with self-kindness, we free ourselves to write with greater authenticity, confidence, and flow. This is why having an inner awesome-best-friend is crucial.
Whenever you’re facing a challenging situation or emotion, or need some encouragement and support, you may call on this friend. Calling on our inner awesome-best-friend is not about faking how we speak to ourselves. It’s about tapping into the qualities of a compassionate and supportive friend and relating to ourselves from that place. Remember, that voice is a reflection of how we relate to ourselves. To truly cultivate this supportive voice, it’s helpful to consider the qualities of a great friend:
● Supportive: A best friend is there for you through thick and thin, always encouraging and lifting you up.
● Non-judgmental: They accept you just as you are, with all your quirks, flaws, and strengths. Your bond with them would not be the same without all of your amazing quirks.
● Trustworthy: You can confide in them without fear of judgment, knowing that they have your best interests at heart.
● Empathetic: A best friend understands your emotions, listens to your struggles, and offers genuine compassion.
● Honest: They tell you the truth with kindness, helping you grow without tearing you down.
● Loyal: They stand by your side, no matter what, showing unwavering love and care.
● Playful and Fun: They bring joy into your life and remind you not to take everything so seriously.
● Reliable: You can count on them to be there when you need them, providing a sense of stability and consistency.
● Respectful: They honor your boundaries, individuality, and choices, even when they disagree.
● Kind and Compassionate: They treat you with warmth, understanding, and genuine care without expecting anything in return.
Step 1: Call on your inner awesome-best-friend for support.
Step 2: Allow your inner awesome-best-friend to support you when you need…
To turn your negative self-talk around.
Extra positive encouragement.
Unconditional love and support.
Step 3: Embrace their love and support.
So there you have it. Self-compassion calms our minds and reopens our heart by shifting the way we relate to ourselves. Self-compassion interrupts our negative patterns of self-judgment, fear and resistance by offering kindness where there was once criticism, understanding where there was once pressure, and acceptance where there was once resistance. When we stop fighting against ourselves, our minds begin to quiet and our hearts naturally begin to open.
Before I sign off with a shameless plug of my soon-to-be book, I’d like to leave you with one more tool.
Write From Your Heart
When our minds are restless and our hearts are closed, the struggles we face in life—our insecurities, self-doubt, self-criticism, and even self-hatred—spill into our writing. If we constantly judge ourselves in everyday life, that same harshness shows up when we try to express ourselves. If we doubt our worth, we doubt our words. If we are afraid of being vulnerable, we hold back, filtering or over-editing until our writing feels forced and disconnected. If you’ve noticed this in your own experience, then you’ll know that this is how writer’s block starts to creep up on us. It’s how the grinch steals our creativity!
Being heart-centered is a practice of trust—trusting that we don’t need to figure everything out, trusting that we are enough as we are, and trusting that life unfolds the way it needs to unfold. The more we practice returning to our hearts, the easier it becomes to live, create, and express ourselves from a place of love, kindness, and truth.
Instead of trying to control the process or over-edit our thoughts before they even hit the page, when we write from our hearts, we allow ourselves to write freely, without hesitation. This doesn’t mean every word will come out perfectly, but it means we are writing from a place of presence rather than fear. What I’ve learned through my book-writing journey is that writing from the heart isn’t about achieving something; it’s about allowing something to come through, unfiltered and real. Besides, we have Andria to help us with editing later—am I right?
Combined with the other tools I shared with you, I use this tool whenever I feel my insecurities, self-doubt, and self-criticisms start to creep into my train of thought. Sometimes, I’ll do this if I know I’m having a bad day and I need to sit down to write. But, just like our inner awesome-best-friend, this tool isn’t about superficially telling yourself “I love you, thank you”. This tool is about taking a gentle pause and returning ourselves to our hearts. It’s an assurance that everything bothering us is a product of our restless minds and that everything is going to be okay—because it is!
Step 1: Center Yourself
1. Set the intention to center yourself in the present moment.
2. Close your eyes and place your attention on your breathing.
3. Gently empty your lungs of air.
4. Breathe in quietly through your nose for a count of 4.
5. Hold your breath at the top for a count of 7.
6. Slowly exhale through your mouth for a count of 8.
Step 2: Place your hand on your heart.
Step 3: Tell yourself: “I love you, thank you.”
While learning to still the mind and open the heart will take more than a single blog post, I hope these tools will help you with your writing as much as they did for me. These tools are not limited to helping you through writer’s block, rather they are designed to for daily use to help still your mind and open your heart. I’m confident that with just these tools alone, you’ll find yourself more joyful, peaceful, and at ease in your daily life. So, go ahead and give them an honest try!
Always in your corner,
Hans Wang
More About Hans Wang
To dive deeper into a still mind and an open heart, please look out for my upcoming book about self-compassion! In this book, I share an entire suite of self-compassionate tools and perspectives that are essential to anyone on their spiritual awakening journey who wishes to be joyful, loving, free, and at peace. Some may be familiar, like centering yourself in the present moment, processing your emotions by embracing them, or finding joy in play. Others—like your Highest Good Compass, Earth School, and your Inner Lantern—might be new to you. These tools have helped me still my mind and open my heart, making life not just bearable but joyful, lively, and truly magical. In about thirty chapters, I’ll walk you through:
● How to make decisions aligned with your Highest Good
● How to deal with emotional upsets
● How to stop beating yourself up and forgive yourself
● How to lovingly accept your body
● How to take care of your unique needs
● How to experience more joy and playfulness
All my life, I had been taught to look outwardly for joy, love, freedom, and inner peace, not realizing that the source of them all have been within me all along. While meditation is still the pathway to self-realization, self-compassion is the lifestyle that supports the journey toward it. Having a still mind and an open heart is the game-changer you’ve been seeking, and I can’t wait to share more about this with you soon in my upcoming book! Until then, find me on my website and instagram.
Free Publishing Guide from Andria Flores
If we haven’t met yet, I am Andria Flores: author, editor, and recovering perfectionist. For more articles like this one, connection with a supportive author network, and trusted publishing resources, subscribe to my newsletter today. When you do, I’ll send you my free Publishing Guide as a gift, and I won’t blow up your inbox every week. My 40+ page eBook is a step-by-step guide through the publishing process, including tips, tricks, and links that you can use along the way. Get yours here!
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